36 quotes from Rodney Dangerfield: 'I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it.' , 'What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife.' , and 'Once I pulled a job, I was so stupid. I picked a guy's pocket on an airplane and made a run for it.' The Humble Tootsie Roll: Call it the Rodney Dangerfield of the candy world. Even on its 100th birthday, it’s being overshadowed. Full text of 'Dangerfield's Rest: Or, Before the Storm: a Novel of American Life and Manners' See other formats. Welcome to the Dangerfield guide at TV.com.Set in the beautiful rural towns of Warwick and Leamington Spa, the show followed police surgeon Dr Paul Dangerfield, now relocated from London to.

When I was a kid, I was so ugly, you'll never believe how ugly I was. I was so ugly, they wanted me to be the Poster Child for birth control.

'All right now, everybody, quiet down, please,' said Jim Signorelli, who was directing Dangerfield's new movie. 'Are you ready, Rodney?'

'Ready? I'm dyin' up here. This is the weirdest thing I ever heard of. I'm about to start bein' funny and so you tell everybody to shut up. No laughs, everybody -- he's being funny now! I'll tell you what it is. It's a comic's nightmare, that's what it is!'

'Right,' said Signorelli. 'Action!'

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Dangerfield, standing on the table top in his underwear and wing tips, began to vibrate. His elbows knocked against his rib cage, his hands were palsied, his neck jerked back and forth. A platoon of three tailors descended on him, measuring everything at once: His arms, legs, biceps, hat size, wrists, ankles and other parts not often measured by even the most meticulous tailors.

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'Cut! Print! said Signorelli. Dangerfield's vibration slowed somewhat.

'Mr. Dangerfield?' a photographer said. 'Could you turn this way, please?'

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'Hey, take it easy, honey, will ya? I ain't got no good side!'

I'm so ugly, when I was a kid, my father bought a new billfold, and instead of my picture, he carried the picture of the kid who came with the wallet.

This was in the old Astoria movie studio up in Harlem, where movies were made in the early days and are now being made again. The name of the movie is 'Easy Money' (1983), and it will star Rodney Dangerfield in a screenplay by Dangerfield and others, including National Lampoon's P.J. O'Rourke. Dangerfield plays a Rodneyesque character in the movie, an Italian-American family man who is given a chance to inherit the family firm if only he will only swear off drinking, smoking, gambling and all other vices for one year.

Ryan Dangerfield, the Michigan man arrested in connection with the stabbing death of a Bryan man in June has a preliminary hearing set for Wednesday in a Hillsdale County courtroom. Dangerfield is accused in the June 23 stabbing death of Dylan Bible at the Colonial Manor Motel on E. High St. in Bryan. Dangerfield eventually will be returned to Williams County, where he faces charges of voluntary manslaughter and being a fugitive from justice. He faces a list of charges in Michigan, as well.